monkey on one's back

Noun

monkey on one's back

1. (figuratively) An addiction, especially to narcotic drugs.
   • Prine's balladeering also includes social comment, as in Sam Stone, a song about a veteran returning from "the conflict overseas with a Purple Heart and a monkey on his back."1972 July 24, “The Blue-Collar Blues”, in Time
   • "You got my monkey, Dealer? You take my nice old monkey away from me? Is that monkey ridin' your back these days, Dealer?"1949, Nelson Algren, The Man With The Golden Arm
2. (figuratively) A state of persistent distress or worry or the cause of such a state.
   • "'E's got th' monkey on 'is back ower this letter job," said the father secretly to me.1922, D. H. Lawrence, “Wintry Peacock,”, in England, My England
   • "I moved, went through a lot of changes," she said, which was as much explanation as she would give him. "But I've still got this monkey on my back, you know, still looking for an explanation, and I hoped you might spare me a few minutes."2017, Dean Koontz, The Silent Corner, page 38