dildo

Noun

dildo (plural dildos or dildoes)

1. A device used for sexual penetration or another sexual activity.
   • Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
   1. An artificial penis.
      • Adieu! faint-hearted instrument of lust; / That falselie hath betrayde our equale trust. / Hence-forth no more will I implore thine ayde, / Or thee, or man of cowardize upbrayde. / My little dilldo shall suply their kinde: / A knaue, that moues as light as leaues by winde; / That bendeth not, nor...c. 1592–1593 (date written), Thomas Nash[e], “The Choosing of Valentines”, in John S[tephen] Farmer, editor, The Choise of Valentines: Or The Merie Ballad of Nash His Dildo […], London: Privately...
      • "There, as my lord, with achromatic glass, / "O'erlooks St. James's Park, and on the grass, / "Beneath his mansion's half-closed window spies / "Two crouching urchins' gross obscenities, / "He turns his eager gaze, adjusts the screw, / "And brings their unwashed nudities in view. / "That spot...1866, “Don Leon”, in Don Leon ; A Poem by the Late Lord Byron, Author of Childe Harold, Don Juan, &c., &c. and forming part of the private journal of His Lordship, supposed to have been entirely...
2. (derogatory, slang, vulgar) Any device or implement.
   • Call ghost hunters? Those fuckers will show up with gas powered dildos and burn the woods down.2019, Justin Blackburn, The Bisexual Christian Suburban Failure Enlightening Bipolar Blues, page 43
3. (derogatory, slang) An idiot; a bore.
   • I take back cars from dildos who don't pay their bills. Cool huh?1984, Alex Cox, Repo Man, spoken by Otto Maddox (Emilio Estevez)
   • ‘Thompson?’ Heydon-Bayley had shrieked. ‘But he’s a complete dildo, surely?’ / ‘I like him,’ said Adrian, ‘he’s unusual.’ / ‘Graceless, you mean. Wooden.’1991 September, Stephen Fry, chapter 1, in The Liar, London: Heinemann, →ISBN, section I, page 15

   Synonyms:

   addle-brain, addlehead, addle pate, airhead, baboon, beanbrain, beetlebrain, beetlehead, berk, bimbo

4. A columnar cactus of the West Indies (Pilosocereus royenii).
   • The commonest and most conspicuous of the cacti is the "dildoe" (Cereus Swartzii), a columnar form growing to as much as 20 feet in height, a plant the gross physiology of which is probably very similar to that of the sahuaro (Camegiea gigantea).1910, Forrest Shreve, “The coastal deserts of Jamaica”, in The Plant World: An Illustrated Monthly Journal of Popular Botany, volume 13, pages 129–130

Verb

dildo (third-person singular simple present dildoes, present participle dildoing, simple past and past participle dildoed)

1. (transitive) To penetrate with a dildo or with another object as if it were a dildo.
   • And Venus (one that so much known is)
     Is Dildo’d by Cauda Draconis.1681, Homer Alamode, the Second Part in English Burlesque, or, Mock Poem upon the Ninth Book of the Iliads, page 48
   • A muscular female prison guard was dildoing a petite brunette with a night stick.2010, Reggie Chesterfield, Goody Goes Bad!, page 40

Interjection

1. (obsolete) A burden: a phrase or theme that recurs at the end of a verse of a folk song.
   • He hath songs for man or woman, of all sizes;[…] with such delicate burthens of dildos and fadings,c. 1610–1611 (date written), William Shakespeare, “The Winters Tale”, in Mr. William Shakespeares Comedies, Histories, & Tragedies […] (First Folio), London: […] Isaac Iaggard, and Ed[ward] Blount...
   • Will you buy a fine dog, with a hole in his head?
     With a dildo, dildo, dildo; […]c. 1600, Thomas Morley, Will You Buy a Fine Dog?

Proper noun capitalized: Dildo

Dildo

1. A small town on the island of Newfoundland, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada.